john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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