Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
