well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
