dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
