just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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