PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dear god my vagina.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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