i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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