Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
