One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
