whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
