I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
