Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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