My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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