I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We named our party play list daddy issues
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
