Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
