when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
