DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
