dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
