no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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