you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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