So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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