Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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