He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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