it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I think people are normalizing furries
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
