yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
