then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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