Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If I die, sorry about rent.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
