Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
