Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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