I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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