He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize
