this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
