Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
this beer tastes like vomit already
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
