The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
