He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
