drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
