I'm drive I can fine osifer
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
