(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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