Say something about gay babies.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
