I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
