How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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