i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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