just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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