Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My vagina is officially offended.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
