Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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