it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
