You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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