I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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