There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You were trust falling into bushes
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
