Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
