you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
