How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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