According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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